Not Another Pokemon Spoof!
by MegamanZero
Summary: Ash, Misty and Brock do stuff. Tracey says stupid things. Hilarity insues.
1. Prologue

Not Another Pokemon Spoof!!!  
Prologue  
By Megaman Zero  
nmc_512@yahoo.com  
O  
  
Disclaimer: FOR THE LAST FREAKIN' TIME, I DON'T OWN POKEMON!!!  
Disturbing: Tread softly, Pokemon lovers. What lies before you is the script to the most shameless, senseless, and overall ridiculous Pokemon spoof ever written. What you may read may shock you, disgust you, and alienate you from all that is Pokemon, BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!!!  
  
MegamanZero steps onto his podium. The crowd boos.  
  
MegamanZero (ignoring the audience): Welcome ladies and germs! I stand before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about ... what a sec ... LINE!!!  
  
Misty smacks MegamanZero on the head with her omnipresent mallet. The crowd cheers.  
  
Misty: Line!? LINE!? What do you mean, LINE!? This is YOUR fanfic!!! Do you mean to tell me that you're just writing this on a whim!!?  
  
MegamanZero (confused): You make it sound like it's a BAD thing.  
  
Misty, along with the audience, anime falls.   
  
Misty: That's it! I can't deal with this crap! I'm leaving!  
  
Megaman Zero: HALT!!!  
  
Everybody, including Misty, freezes. A sly grin appears on MegamanZero's face.  
  
MegamanZero: It's my fanfic, RRRIIIGHT?  
  
Misty: Ummmm ... yeah ...  
  
MegamanZero: So ... in a way, that makes me kind of a GOD, right?  
  
Misty (looking scared): Uhh ... yeah ... I guess so.  
  
MegamanZero suddenly becomes larger in size and sprouts angel wings. A pitchfork appears in his hand and a bagpipe appears in the other. A pointed tail erupts from his backside and two horns stab outward from his forehead. His sly grin twists into a horrible grimace that would give Freddy Krueger nightmares.  
  
MegamanZero (pointing a sausage-like finger at Misty): THEN IF THOU SHALT NOT OBEY THE GREAT ZERO HEAD, I SHALL TRANSFORM THEE INTO A GIANT RUBBER CHICKEN!   
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
Misty: (cowering) Please, anything but that! Alright, I'll do your stupid fic!  
  
The audience begin trampling each other trying to get to the exits. MegamanZero begins to emit loud, sour squawks from his bagpipe. Everybody screams out in pain at the horrible racket and covers their ears.   
  
Misty: ARRRRGGHHHH! Whoever invented the bagpipe should've been shaved bald and dumped into the nearest manure wagon!  
  
MegamanZero(stops playing that infernal instrument): No one's leaving. Not while I'm still Mayor of Cincinnati!  
  
Misty(scratching her head): Huh?  
  
MegamanZero(shrinking back to normal from that cosmic joke): Anywho, we've got to introduce the characters.  
  
Someone in the Audience: YOU SUCK!!!!!  
  
With a quick wave of his finger, MegamanZero turns that person into a pink pinniata. The audience screams "Hey, Pinniata!", blindfolds themselves, pull out baseball bats, and start beating the pinniata until candy spews forth. Then it becomes a total melee for the tasty treats.  
  
MegamanZero: (bangs his gabble, which turns out to be an inflatable toy mallet) Order! ORDER!!!!   
  
Audience stops, their faces stuffed full of candy (still in wrappers).  
  
MegamanZero: Alright, then. Let's introduce ASH KETCHUM!  
  
Ash walks from behind the curtain onto the stage. He waves at the audience meekly.  
  
Ash: Um ... hi, everybody. As you all know, I'm Ash ...   
  
Misty: WHOO, HOO! TAKE IT OFF, ASHY-BOY! HUBBA HUBBA! YOU SO FINE, YOU BLOW MY   
MIND! (Throws a twenty at him.)  
  
Audience sweatdrops.   
  
Ash: (gulp) ... and I'm gonna be your main character in Not another Pokemon Spoof.  
  
Misty: Come, baby, SHOW ME SOME SKIN!!! (Throws several more twenties at him, licks her lips.)  
  
MegamanZero: (sweatdrops) Uhhhh ... ANYWAY, let's hear a big round of applause for Ash Ketchum!  
  
Audience claps like mad. Little hearts appear in Misty's eyes and she begins to scream "I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!" over and over again, kind of like the teeny-boppers do when the Backstreet Boys appear on stage. She's getting so wantonly worked up you'd swear that she's about to hump the podium.  
  
MegamanZero: Geez, would somebody put a hose to Misty? Speaking of Misty, we have to introduce her as well!  
  
Audience claps.  
  
Misty: (whispers in Ash's ear) My trailer is the one that says "Misty" on it. (Giggle) I hope you won't disappoint me.   
  
Ash: !  
  
MegamanZero: Moving right along, we have here the most hated character in Pokemon. You know 'em, you despise 'em, you wish he was never made, give it up for Tracey Sketchit!!  
  
Tracey moonwalks onto the stage. The audience boos and throws food at him.  
  
Tracey: Look, the eggplants jumped over the ironing board! Birds!!  
  
MegamanZero: Ummm ... oookaaaay. As you can see, folks, Tracey here never says anything of importance anyway, so I just have him in a state of constant, non-sensical jabbering.  
  
Tracey: Do they serve broccili in Timbuktu? Happy to you, log pony!  
  
MegamanZero: See what I mean?  
  
Tracey: Why don't you just throw that curve-flapjack and send your cheese to my cigar factory before it eats up the marshmallow-covered platypus?  
  
MegamanZero: Ok, shut up now, Trace.  
  
Tracey: (saluting) Go to bed!  
  
Tracey begins to do the Macarena while singing "I Want My Babyback Ribs".  
  
MegamanZero: Well, then. Now that Tracey's out of the way (thank God), let's introduce you to the ultimate ladies-man wannabe! Put your hands together for Brock!!!!!!  
  
Brock lowers down from the ceiling on a rope. He's wearing a black spandex outfit with giant letters spelling "THE BROCK" on the front and back. When he finally lowers to the floor a wrestling ring appears below him.   
  
Brock: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE BROCK IS COOKIN'!   
  
MegamanZero: What an entrance folks, what an entrace ...  
  
Brock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! THE BROCK SAYS THAT IF YOU DO NOT FINISH WITH THIS STUPID PROLOGUE, THE BROCK WILL KICK YOUR ROOTY-POOT, CANDY-COATED, CANDY ASS!!!   
  
MegamanZero: You see folks, I decided to spruce things up a bit by giving Brock what I call, Wrestling-Induced-Maniacal-Psychosis syndrome, or WIMP syndrome. Brock will be in a constant state of wrestling lines and boisterous, umm ... boastfullness.  
  
Brock: AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, SO SUCK IT!!!  
  
MegamanZero: Well, folks, enough with the introductions! Let's get this show on the road!  
  
Crowd boos louder than ever before.  
  
MegamanZero: And remember, there's a method to my cheesecake ... I mean madness. 


	2. An Unpleasant Surprise

Not Another Pokemon Spoof!!!  
By MegamanZero  
Part One: An Unpleasant Surprise   
nmc_512@yahoo.com  
O  
  
Disclaimer: I tried buying Pokemon from Creatures and Gamefreak the other day but they didn't take Monopoly money so I'm RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED!  
  
Story Recap: Well there you have it, folks. Ash is a wimp, Brock's been watching way too much WWF, Misty is in a constant state of trying to get into Ash's pants, and Tracey makes about as much sense as Beavis and Butthead playing in a chess tournament. And let's not forget our sadistically creative host, yours truly! Now sit back, relax, turn off the little voice inside your head that says "You shouldn't be doing that!", and enjoy this literary fiasco you might call a "Fanfic".  
  
* * * *   
  
The whole gang of Pokemon are out having a barbecue on Ash's front yard. Little do they know that Ash holds a terrible (and totally unexpected) secret.   
  
Brock: CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE BROCK IS COOKIN'?   
  
Misty: (making a face and covering her nose) Yeah, it smells like burnt hamburger.   
  
Brock: DO NOT INSULT THE BROCK'S COOKING, OR ...  
  
Misty: (rolling her eyes, sarcastic) Yeah, yeah, I know. You're gonna kick my rooty-poot, candy-coated, candy ass, right?  
  
Brock: (looking hurt) No, I'll be very sad.   
  
Misty: Whaaa ... ?  
  
Ash: (struggling under the weight of a big sack of coal) Hey g-g-guy's? Do you think you could ... urghh! ... help me with this thing?  
  
Brock: MOVE IT, YA PHONY JABRONI! THE BROCK WILL HANDLE WHAT YOUR WEEK ARMS CAN'T!  
  
Ash shrugs and hands Brock the sack of coal. Brock is almost flattened by the immense weight.   
  
Brock: (from under the sack) THE BROCK IS (UGGHH) OK!!! THE SACK SHALL NOT CONQUER THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP!  
  
Misty: (a lustful grin on her face) Hey, speaking of sack ... (inches closer to Ash) mind if I touch your ...  
  
Delia: Weiner!!! Who wants another weiner!  
  
Ash: I WANT ONE!!!! * Perfect, saved by the ... uhhh ... weiner *   
  
Ash sprints over to his mom with speed that would put a Scizzor to shame.  
  
Misty: Rats. I almost had that sexiful boy. Hey, I just made up a new word!!! Sexiful ... hah! I crack myself up!  
  
Tracey: Excuse me? Is the purple monkey Tuesday washing the desktop for my bathtub dog poo dispenser? Long live the limburger!   
  
Misty: Ummm ... I think I'll go ... uh ... over there now ... yeah.  
  
Brock shoves a burger in Tracey's face.  
  
Brock: THE BROCK HAS OFFERED YOU NURISHMENT!! HOW WILL YOU RESPOND?  
  
Tracey: Oh, no spank-you. I only chew chocolate processed pork rinds to chug my milk down the toilet.   
  
Brock: (blinking) um ... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU NEED TO CHUG YOUR MILK DOWN THE TOILET! YOU WILL EAT THIS PIECE OF PROCESSED ANIMAL CARCASS CUZ STONE COLD SAYS SO!  
  
Misty: Huh? Waitasec, I thought you were only a parody of The Rock.  
  
Brock: (proudly) THE BROCK INFRINGES UPON ALL WRESTLER SCHTICKS.   
  
Misty: Wow, I'm surpised.  
  
Delia: Surprised!? HAH! I'd be more surprised if Prof. Oak could maintain an erection!  
  
Prof. Oak: (wailing, spitting out pieces of hotdog) DELIA!!! That's PRIVATE! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!  
  
Prof. Oak runs off screaming like a cheerleader who just found out that she didn't make the team.   
  
Ash: Oh my ...  
  
Misty: (screams at the sky) MegamanZero!!! Does this story even have a plot!? And why haven't I gotten Ash's pants down yet!!!?  
  
MegamanZero: (waving a gigantic foam finger from the clouds in a very, erm ... holy manner) I told you, for the last time, no, it DOESN'T HAVE A PLOT!!! And the reason that Ash won't let you touch his ... um ... Pokeballs is because he is gayer than Richard Simmmons.  
  
Misty: ... WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????  
  
MegamanZero: (in a final sort of tone) You, heard me. Ash is a fairy.   
  
Ash: (hanging his head down) It's true. I'm gay. Whenever we go to the beach, I'm either looking at Brock or Tracey's asses. And I've been secretly dating Tracey for six months.   
  
Brock: ... THE BROCK IS SPEECHLESS.   
  
Misty: WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I finally find a hot guy that I'm interested in * sniff* and I find out that he's a * sniff * FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!  
  
Delia: I kind of began to suspect something when Ash put up WAY too many posters of that Justin Timberlake guy all over his walls.   
  
Tracey: (wisely) Ash must have been dreaming about Walla Walla ding dong when he transferred his refrigerator to the Island of Lost Bungholes.  
  
Everybody looks at Tracey cockeyed.  
  
Tracey: (shrugging innocently) Boogers?  
  
Misty takes out her mallet and, in a rage, chases a very terrified Tracey all over the lawn with everybody watching them (sweatdropping).  
  
Misty: (swinging her mallet) You man-stealing bastard! You made Ash gay!!! You're gonna pay for this!!  
  
Tracey: Eggplants!!!! Please don't round my roosters in the wine filled warehouse!!!  
  
Misty: Get back here!!! * huff, puff * Stop!! Let me * huff, wheeze * strangle you!!!   
  
Audience is in tears with disgust. Somebody shouts out.  
  
Audience Guy: Please, stop this!!! We can't take anymore of this crap!  
  
MegamanZero: (waves his giant foam finger menacingly) Pinniata ...  
  
The audience guy gulps and sits back down sheepishly.   
  
MegamanZero: Well, folks, this chapter must come to a close. Please forgive me for making Ash gay, it's just that, well, WHY THE HELL ELSE WOULD HE BE PUSHING AWAY FROM MISTY'S FLIRTING!!!!!??   
  
Ranma: Yeah, give the poor author a chance!  
  
Ash: RANMA!? What are you doing here? This isn't a crossover! And ... wait ... aren't you supposed to be a GIRL?  
  
Ranma: (covering his boobs) NO, I'M A GUY, YOU REJECT!!! I'm just in a girl's body.   
  
Richie: I DON'T CARE, I STILL LOVE YOU, RANMA!!!!!   
  
Ranma: Uggh! Get away from me!! Where's the hot water??  
  
MegamanZero: I'm sick, aren't I, folks? Well, I'm not as sick as the rubber bound porno-mag covered in honeydew and Elmer's glue (hey, that rhymed)! Until we meet again, GO TO BED!!!!! 


	3. The Wonders of Paprika

Not Another Pokemon Spoof!  
By MegamanZero  
Chapter 2: The Wonders of Paprika  
nmc_512@yahoo.com  
O  
  
Story Recap: (sigh) Can it get any worse? Oh wait, it can. When we last left off, we found out that Ash's sexuality was … erm … slightly confused. So here we are. Hmm ... I seem to have run out of ideas. Touché.   
  
* * * *  
  
MEGAMANZERO: (waves his giant foam finger of holiness) I have decided to make Ash straight once again, simply because he's stupider when he is.   
  
MISTY: You mean it, Megsy?  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Don't call me that. Ever. Or I will hurt you. Badly. I can do that. I have the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness. Don't mess with my mad skills, bitch.  
  
MISTY: (sweatdrops) Erm, sorry, M. But you really mean it? (eyes get all sparkly) Ash won't be playing tonsil hockey with that fairy anymore?  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Aye.  
  
TRACEY: PEANUTS!!!  
  
ASH: But she's still not getting down MY pants! =O  
  
MISTY: Oh, poopie. ;_;  
  
BROCK: THE BROCK THANKS THE GREAT MEGAMANZERO FOR GIVING ASH HIS SEXUALITY BACK! THE BROCK WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL VERY NERVOUS AROUND THE KID WHENEVER IT CAME TIME TO HOP INTO THE SHOWER.  
  
MISTY: Eeeeew… _ TMI, Too Much Information!!!  
  
(suddenly out of nowhere, Shampoo from Ranma ½ appears out of a giant plot hole)   
  
SHAMPOO: Nihao! Shampoo come through many plot hole so Shampoo get here!  
  
MISTY: Shampoo??? From Ranma ½? This isn't a crossover!  
  
SHAMPOO: Shampoo know. Shampoo only come cuz RANMA here!  
  
MISTY: Just what we need. Another idiot who refers to themselves in the third person.  
  
BROCK: HEY! THE BROCK RESENTS THAT!  
  
(we suddenly see Richie chasing after a girl-Ranma, with Ranma running like a wildcat, and Richie bouncing along like Peppy le Pew)  
RICHIE: (in a bad French accent) Come to me, my darling. I shall woo you like you have never been wooed before.  
  
RANMA: I am NOT a girl!!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF BUDDHA, WHERE THE HELL IS THE HOT WATER!!!???  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Sorry Ranma, buddy. I have decided that for the rest of the fic there will be no hot water.   
  
RANMA: (weeping) Why are you doing this???  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Because I'm a sadist. Have a good time, Richie!! Don't you be getting TOO frisky, ne? Don't wanna have to change the rating from PG-13 to NC-17!  
  
RANMA: CURSE YYYYYYOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Splendid. On with the story, now.  
  
* * * *  
  
(Ash, Misty, Brock, and Tracey, are walking through some random forest simply because the author is a lazy jerk)  
  
(just then we see some random guy on a Mo-Ped speeds up to the group and screech to a halt)  
  
MO-PED MAN: Urgent telegram for a Mister Ash Ketchum.  
  
ASH: (holding out his hand) That would be me!  
  
MO-PED MAN: WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU!?   
  
ALL: O_O (except Tracy, who is currently break dancing in a pile of horse manure)  
  
MO-PED MAN: Sorry, kids. Hope I didn't sound a little rude there. I am a manic depressive bipolar schizophrenic psychotic suffering from Teretse Syndrome and I've just switched medication. I like medication! Don't you? What? You don't like medication, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY DON'T YOU LIKE MEDICATION DAMMIT YOU KNOW WHAT I OUTTA DO TO YO BITCH-ASS I OUTTA TAKE A STICK AND * beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee * gasp * eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep *  
  
ALL: o_O (except Tracy, who is reciting Shakespeare while eating cans of dog food)  
  
MO-PED MAN: Oh, fiddlesticks, there I go again. SCROTUM LICKER! Ah, infernal Teretse. Well, here's your telegram from a Mr. Pikachu, AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN * beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee * gasp *   
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep *  
  
(the weirdo drives away)  
  
MISTY: So, Hot Pants, what does the telegram say?  
  
ASH: Don't call me that! Waitasec (reads the telegram) awww, this is no good!?  
  
ALL (except Ash): Why?  
  
ASH: Because it just keeps repeating his name over and over!  
  
(insert bad joke anime fall here)  
  
TRACY: EAT PINNIATAS!!! There goes the goat cheese!  
  
* * * *  
  
(meanwhile, in a sheet held up by four poles...I mean THE TOP SECRET TEAM ROCKET BASE OF EVILNESS, Team Rocket plans their horrific scheme to use up half an hour...I mean steal Pikachu)  
  
GIOVANNI: Ok, people! Here's the plan. First, we take a giant Meowth balloon and...  
  
JESSIE: Um, sir? We've tried that several times, and it never works.  
  
MEOWTH: Yeah, numbnuts!  
  
GIOVANNI: Whoa, steady! Throw me a frickin' bone, here! I'm the boss, I need the info!  
  
(Dr. Evil appears out of a plot hole)  
  
DR. EVIL: Hey, that's MY line, ya plagiarizing bastard!  
  
GIOVANNI: Quiet, you! (pulls a lever, Dr. Evil falls through a trap door)  
  
DR. EVIL: AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!  
  
GIOVANNI: Excellent, let that be a lesson to all you frickin idiots should you ever decide to piss me off!  
  
DR. EVIL: (from deep within the hole) Hello? Can somebody hear me? Oh, god my leg is broken! Can somebody get an ambulance??  
  
GIOVANNI: Like a frickin cockroach. James! Pull the second lever!  
  
JAMES: Uh, sir? The second lever is RIGHT next to your wrist. Shouldn't you...  
  
GIOVANNI: Don't toy with me! (fingers the second lever threateningly)   
  
JAMES: Yipe! Ok, sorry sorry sorry!  
  
(pulls the second lever)  
  
DR. EVIL: AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
GIOVANNI: (evil grin) Now, back to business. So, instead of the Meowth balloon, we could get a giant robot and ...  
  
JESSE: Um, sir? We tried that too, it didn't work.   
  
GIOVANNI: Well, JEEZ ya frickin party pooper, ya didn't even let me FINISH! As I was saying, we could strap a GIANT vacuum cleaner and ...  
  
JESSE: Again, sir, we've tried that as well. It didn't work. Plus, it's a little bad for our image.  
  
GIOVANNI: No comprende?   
  
JESSIE: Well, you know sir...don't you...get it...sir?  
  
GIOVANNI: I don't follow.  
  
JESSE: You know...the power to suck mightily and...  
  
GIOVANNI: Yeah...that's kind of what I was...going for...  
  
JESSE: Oh I give up. _  
  
GIOVANNI: And after that, we could hold Pikachu ransom for ONE MMMMMEEEEEELIIIION...Pesos...  
  
JAMES: Pesos, sir?  
  
GIOVANNI: I'm planning on going to Tijuana this weekend.  
  
JAMES: Ooohhh, TJ! Can I come?  
  
GIOVANNI: No.  
  
JAMES: Oh...  
  
(awkward silence)  
  
JAMES: Umm...may I ask why?  
  
GIOVANNI: Because your face disturbs me.   
  
JAMES: _  
  
GIOVANNI: See? That was really disturbing! Now, back to the plan! You three will get a giant robot with the giant vacuum and suck Pikachu!   
  
ALL: o_O  
  
GIOVANNI: Was that an innuendo or something?   
  
MEOWTH: I'm sure somebody will think it is. _  
  
GIOVANNI: Alright, then, it's settled. James! Quit boggarting the weed!  
  
JAMES: * singing * Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?   
  
(insert cheesy rock music here)  
  
(we now go to Ash and Co. who are still in that random forest)  
  
MISTY: Hey Ash, we're almost to Dung Pile City and...JESUS CHRIST ON A MOTORCYCLE!!  
  
ASH: What! What's going on??? Is it Team Rocket? Who is it, Misty?  
  
MISTY: Exactly as I said, cutie. * points * Jesus Christ on a motorcycle.  
  
JESUS: READ THE BIBLE...um...MY CHILDREN! * speeds away *  
  
MISTY: Well, that was random. Anyway's where are we and ... GREAT CAESARS GHOST!  
  
ASH: What is it now???  
  
MISTY: Caesars ghost. Duh. -_-  
  
CAESAR: I came, I saw, I...waitasec...LINE!!! Oh yeah, boo. * disappears *  
  
MISTY: MEGAMANZERO!!!! What's with all the random celebrities!? You could at least make a hot one appear, like Leonardo DiCaprio!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Leonardo DiVinci??? o_O Okaaaaay...whatever floats your boat...  
  
MISTY: No, wait!  
  
LD: I'm a smarty genius person. What is the square root of a piece of pie??? * disappears into a giant plot hole *  
  
BROCK: COME, JABRONI! THE BROCK CHALLENGES YOU TO A STEEL CAGE MATCH!  
  
ASH: Eep...o_O  
  
(A magical wrestling ring appears out of nowhere...and stuff)  
  
BROCK: HAHA! THE BROCK WILL NOW USE HIS SUPER-SECRET-ULTRA-MEGA-COOL-BODACIOUS-NEVERBEFORESEEN-TUBULAR-SMASHER MOVE!!! THE JABRONI SANDWICH!!! Not to be confused with the balony sandwich.  
  
(a bazzlion seconds later)   
  
ASH: -_#  
  
BROCK: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA * smokes his weed * HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH * unfeeds his printer * HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA * BLAM *  
  
MISTY: Somebody had to do it.  
  
ASH: O_O  
  
MISTY: What? Hey, can I get down your pants now?  
  
ASH: No.  
  
MISTY: Want some pie? (pulls out a pie from her pocket)  
  
ASH: (like Homer Simpson) Mmmmmmm...pocket pie... (eats the pie) Hmm...it appears that I am suddenly horny...touché.   
  
MISTY: Alright! I knew that Ecstasy would work! Wanna do it?  
  
ASH: Sure.  
  
(three hours later)  
  
MISTY: WHO'S YOUR MAMA, HUH? WHO!?  
  
ASH: Zzzzzzzzzz...  
  
MISTY: Oh, poopie, he fell asleep. Hmm...I think I'll eat some pie. Mmmm...pocket pie. Waitasec...NOOOOOOOO!!! Now I'm horny and there's nobody to do it with! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Um, why are you mooing?   
  
MISTY: You're the one writing, smart guy. -_-  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Oh, silly me. ^_^ (waves his Giant Foam Finger of Holiness)   
  
* * * *   
  
(Meanwhile, back in the treehouse...uh...TOP SECRET TEAM ROCKET BASE OF EVILNESS, the bad guys are sitting around like a bunch of stoned idiots. Oh wait, they ARE stoned.)  
  
GIOVANNI: What is the meaning of life? Mmmmm, cookies are good, hah hah hah hah, especially mailboxes, hah hah hah hah, I said "mailboxes".   
  
JAMES: Hah hah hah hah, you said "said".  
  
JESSE: Hah hah hah hah, you said "Jesse, I want to screw your brains out until we break the bed."  
  
JAMES: No I didn't.  
  
JESSE: Don't try and trick me...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...  
  
MEOWTH: Why am I not getting stoned, dammit!? Waitaminute, this isn't weed! It's paprika!  
  
GIOVANNI: Dude, pass the paprika.  
  
JAMES: Ok, dude.  
  
GIOVANNI: I love you, dude.  
  
JAMES: I love you too, dude.  
  
GIOVANNI: You are the greatest dude that ever said "dude".  
  
JAMES: And you are the most dudedaciosly dudiest dude that ever duded, dude.  
  
GIOVANNI: That was the dudest thing you've ever duded, dude.  
  
JAMES: Yeah, dude.  
  
(silence)  
  
JAMES: Dude?  
  
GIOVANNI: Yeah, dude?  
  
JAMES: Are you my dude?  
  
GIOVANNI: Yeah, dude.  
  
JAMES: And am I your dude?  
  
GIOVANNI: Totally, dude.  
  
JAMES: Dude, my hair is blue.  
  
GIOVANNI: Can I tell you a secret???  
  
JAMES: What is dude? This better be about a dude.  
  
GIOVANNI: I see white people...all the time. O_O  
  
(And then they said dude some more...and smoked some paprika...The End...of the chapter, anyway o_O)  
  
Well, long story short, they smoked too much Paprika and got brain damage and died, the end.   
  
For now...  
  
(insert twilight zone music here) 


	4. Tracy Goes on a Rampage!

Not Another Pokemon Spoof! By MegamanZero nmc_512@yahoo.com Chapter 3: Tracy Goes on a Rampage!!! o_O O  
  
Story Recap: So.The Brock has been shot, Ash ate some "magic" pie, and the Rocket Gang are.um.stoned.on paprika.yeah.oh, and Misty is horny. Very horny. Oh my god!!! *gasps* WHERE THE HELL IS MY GIANT FOAM FINGER OF HOLINESS!!!??  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, for if I did, Pokemon would be rated MA and moved to Adult Swim. O_o However, I DO own Dung Pile City and the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness.  
  
Yet Another Stupid Warning: Expectant mothers, people who suffer from epileptic seizures, and televangelists should not partake in the reading of this crap. Rated PG-13 for blatant use of language and insane evilness that hurts little children.  
  
* * * *  
  
(Tracy is holding the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness in his hands, drooling, obviously drunk in his own power.)  
  
TRACY: With these digits of Holy Goodness, I will sleet nasty evillosity for all of the chickens! Obey the cheese!  
  
ANNOUNCER GUY: Oh no! Tracy has gotten hold of MegamanZero's Giant Foam Finger of Holiness! What will become of our heroes? What evil, ridiculous deeds does the maniacal fruitball have in store for them? And why can't I get a date?  
  
TRACY: I splat you with a thousand poopies!!!! Look at me wiggle my digits of doom!! May a gaggle of penguins be shoved up your urethra!  
  
(Like magic, the announcer is hit with a thousand splats of feces followed by a gaggle of penguins getting shoved in pee pee hole.) o_O  
  
RANDOM GUY IN AUDIENCE: Wow. You know, if you listen real close, Tracy is actually starting to make sense.  
  
TRACY: Blarf!! I blarf you all to Doomy Poopsville!! I'm wiggling my fingers!! Witness my digital motions!! I urinate on thee!  
  
(The guy in the audience has just turned into a giant albino flea.)  
  
* * * *  
  
(Meanwhile, back under your bed.erm.THE TOP SECRET TEAM ROCKET BASE OF EVILNESS, the bad guys have.been reanimated. and are.still stoned.on paprika.yeah.what a sight.)  
  
JAMES: (singing) * MY LONLINESS.IS KILLING ME.I MUST CONFESS.I STILL BELIEVE. *  
  
GIOVANNI: (rapping) I got my twin glock forties, cocked back/Me and my homies, so drop that/We rollin' on twenties, with the top back/So much money you can't stop that/  
  
JAMES: .HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME! (A/N: -_______________-)  
  
GIOVANNI: What in da world is in dat BAG, whatchoo got in dat BAG!?  
  
(We here the sound of a record scratching to a halt as the DEA burst in.)  
  
DEA AGENT: Alright, potheads! The jig is up! I get paid for saying that. But on a more serious note, YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST. Show us where your potty stash of weedy goodness is, you pot-smoking...POTHEADS!!  
  
GIOVANNI: Oh no sir. This isn't marijuana. This is only a mild form of paprika wrapped in a square of toilet paper and tied together with pieces of twine.  
  
DEA AGENT: WHAT!? Well, I guess that isn't illegal, so you guys are off the hook.  
  
BOTH: Whoo hoo!  
  
DEA AGENT: Besides, I'm not even a DEA agent.  
  
JAMES: You're not?  
  
DEA AGENT: No, I'm with the tour group. BUT I DID STAY AT A HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS LAST NIGHT!  
  
GIOVANNI: o_O  
  
DEA AGENT.er.TOURIST: Um.can I have some of that paprika?  
  
GIOVANNI: Knock yourself out. (points to an unconscious Jessie) Literally.  
  
JESSIE: Zzzzzzzzzzz.  
  
TOURIST: Yippie! (takes a drag) Suddenly.I feel one with the universe.and have the strange craving for Doritos and Easter peeps.Zzzzzzzzzzzz.  
  
GIOVANNI: Hmm.guess some people just don't have the lungs for it. Now where were we, Jimmy boy? (takes a drag) Oh yeah, hee hee hee. (begins rapping again) Who's yo HOUSEkeeper and whatchoo keep in dat HOUSE?  
  
JAMES: WHAT A GIRL WANTS.WHAT A GIRL NEEDS.  
  
(We see the windows shattering. God help us)  
  
* * * *  
  
(we now see me, your author, slumped up by a tree looking weak)  
  
MEGAMANZERO: My power source.stolen.strength.fading. ;_;  
  
(a very horny Misty and a traumatized Ash appear on the scene, Brock is missing)  
  
MISTY: Oh my God.it's.God!!!! (of the fic, you crazy Christian meanyheads XP)  
  
ASH: o_O (is still too traumatized to speak)  
  
MISTY: Ash! Aren't you gonna help???  
  
ASH: o_O Have.been.molested.by Misty.must.kill.self. (grabs a noose from his pocket)  
  
MISTY: OH NO YOU DON'T!! (grabs the noose)  
  
ASH: ;_; NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SEE MY OWN REFLECTION!!!!!! (tries to claw his own eyes out)  
  
MISTY: You know what they say, "No noose is good noose!" ^_^  
  
AUDIENCE GUY: BAD PUN ALERT!!!!!  
  
MISTY: Whatever. MEGSY!!!! What happened to you!!! (runs over to MegamanZero)  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Source of power.taken.by.by.by.  
  
MISTY: By who!?  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Come.closer. (motions with his finger)  
  
MISTY: Um.ok.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: (cups his hand in her ear, whispers) Can you keep a secret?  
  
MISTY: (lovingly) Of course I can.  
  
MEGMANZERO: (hand still cupped to her ear for whispering purposes.or not) MY GIANT FOAM FINGER OF HOLINESS WAS STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Misty then reels back clutching her ear, which has turned a bright red)  
  
MEGMANZERO: (props up, looking just peachy) Oh yeah, remind me to do something nasty to you for calling me Megsy again.  
  
MISTY: What do you mean, "stolen"?  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Exactly what I said, genius. Stolen. As in it is not in my possession anymore. As in somebody has taken a personal belonging from me against my will. As in---  
  
MISTY: Whoa, easy there, Mojo Jojo.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: But do you know who took it??  
  
MISTY: Who? Don't tell me it was the mailman.  
  
MEGMANZERO: -_- NO. IT WAS TRACY!!!!!  
  
MISTY: Big deal. -_-  
  
MEGMANZERO: The universe as we know it will cease to exist!!!!!  
  
MISTY: (like Nelson from the Simpsons) Ha Ha.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: He'll make us all his papery slaves!!!  
  
MISTY: Oohhh, cooool. Will there be tie-up games involved??  
  
MEGAMANZERO: ............HE'LL MAKE ASH GAY AGAIN!!!!!  
  
MISTY: O______________________o NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *gasp* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
(Misty grabs Ash and MegamanZero)  
  
MISTY: To the Buttcave, Robin!  
  
ASH AND MEGAMANZERO: o_O  
  
MISTY: I mean, uh.the BATCAVE!!! Um.yeah.  
  
(and they speed off)  
  
ASH: Could somebody please shoot me???  
  
MISTY: No time for nonsense, Hotlips!!! We must save your sexuality!!!  
  
ASH: If somebody could shoot me right now that would be great. And my name is not Robin, bitch. Or Hotlips. _  
  
MISTY: Hee hee hee! Ashy-kun, you're so silly! ^_^  
  
ASH: O_o  
  
MEGMANZERO: O_o  
  
SADDAM HUSEIN: O_o  
  
GOD: O_o  
  
THE DEVIL: O_o  
  
MAILMAN: O_o  
  
GUY WITH FREAKY EYES: *_$  
  
SMILEY FACE: ^_____________^  
  
FF.NET STAFF: WARNING, DUE TO THE HIGH LEVELS OF O_o's, WE HERE AT FANFICTION.NET HAVE DECIDED TO FLOG MEGAMANZERO WITH A LEATHER WHIP.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Flog me with a leather whip??? Hee hee hee, you guys are so naughty. ^_____^  
  
FF.NET STAFF: Um......rrrrrrrrriiiiiight.. O_o  
  
* * * *  
  
(Meanwhile, Tracy is on an EVIL RAMPAGE!!!)  
  
TRACY: WIGGLY NUTS!!! THE DUCKS FLY AT MIDNIGHT!! LOOK UP MY BUTT AND SEE YOUR FUTURE!!!  
  
TOWNSPEOPLE: AAAHHH!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!  
  
TRACY: Do not prance away like the scaly platypuses you speak to every warm Christmas morning!! Come and poop in my treehouse!!! I'm coagulating sour onions and curdled Jell-O and finely powdered moose!  
  
TOWNSPEOPLE: Uhh.RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
TRACY: THAT'S IT! YOU'VE ANGERED THE TAFFY FOR THE LAST TIC-TAC!!! ATTACK OF THE CROTCHES!!! GET YOUR SOGGY POTATO OFF MY IRONING BOARD!!! I MOLEST THEE WITH MY THRUST-OF-A-THOUSAND-PINECONES!!!!!  
  
(Tracy continues with his carnage and doom)  
  
* * * *  
  
(Our heroes arrive on the scene, Tracy has turned all of Dungpile City into pieces of hard candy. A/N: Very Majin Buu style ;).)  
  
MISTY: Tracy!!!! We're here to put an end to your rampage of doom!!!! Hee hee hee, I get cookie for saying that. ^_^  
  
TRACY: What's this??? An angry eggplant here to split my desktop into three cupcakes??  
  
MISTY: Ummmm.yeah.in any case, we're gonna stop you now!!! Hee hee hee, I get a cookie for saying that, too! ^_^  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Dammit, there goes my dessert.  
  
MISTY: COME ON GUYS!! WHO'S WITH ME!!!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: You owe two cookies for this. -_-  
  
ASH: *is banging his head on the pavement, trying to split it open*  
  
MISTY: Hey, stop that, Sexpot!!! *pulls him away*  
  
ASH: NOOOOO!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR HIDEOUS FACE AGAIN!!!!! *again, he tries to claw his own eyes out*  
  
MISTY: Hee hee hee, I love you too, sweetie. ^_^  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Um.guys.?  
  
(Tracy waves the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness)  
  
ALL: Shit. -_-  
  
(POOF!!!! Our three heroes have turned into garden gnomes.)  
  
TRACY: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........  
  
(Two days later)  
  
TRACY: ....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *yoink*  
  
(But what's this!!! It appears that TEAM ROCKET is on the scene and have just sucked the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness off Tracy's hand!!!!  
  
TRACY: BOOGERS!!!! MY SOURCE OF NOODLES HAS BEEN URINATED OFF MY ACNE!!!! MOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
GIOVANNI: That's what happens when you spend TWO FRICKIN DAYS laughing like a frickin.....FRICK!!!!!  
  
JESSE: Oh, gooooooooooooood use of vocabulary there, boss. -_-  
  
GIOVANNI: Well.in any case, we've finally got Pikachu!!!!!  
  
JESSE: Um.sir? That's not Pikachu. That's a foam finger that says "We're #1 at #2 business". -_-  
  
GIOVANNI: Why by frickin Joe, you're right! I was wondering why he kept giving me the finger. Screw THIS piece of crap!!  
  
(He throws the finger at one of the garden gnomes)  
  
MEGAMANZERO: I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ^_______^  
  
(With an expert wave of the finger (A/N: Hey, YOU try typing "Giant Foam Finger of Holiness" over and over -_-) everything goes back to normal)  
  
MISTY: I'm normal again!!!!!!! ^_____________^  
  
ASH: Hah.wha.? Oh. Shit, I'm still alive. -_- ;_;  
  
MISTY: Yay, Ashy-kun you're okay.and stuff!!! ^_______^  
  
(she gives Ash a GIGANTIC hug)  
  
ASH: _  
  
MISTY: ^_^  
  
THE REST: O_o  
  
MEGAMANZERO: *gives Tracy evil eyes* And as punishment, Tracy, I give you the most horrifying punishment of all.  
  
TRACY: Potatoes.O_O  
  
(MegamanZero waves his finger)  
  
TRACY: Hey!!! What in the world did you do to me!!? Wha.waitamoment.NOOOO! I actually make SENSE NOW!!! I HAVE NO VALID REASON TO LIVE!!!!!!! O *shoots himself*  
  
ALL: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! ^__________________^  
  
(And so they had a party.and stuff.the end.)  
  
BROCK: HEY!!!!!! DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE BROCK!!!!!!!!  
  
ALL: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
BROCK: Eep. O_o  
  
~fin~ 


	5. Epilogue: The Last Word

Not Another Pokemon Spoof By MegamanZero Epilogue: The Last Word nmc_512@yahoo.com O  
  
A/N: I know what you're thinking: WHY IN THE BLOODY SHIT ARE YOU STILL WRITING THIS TEXTUAL MONSTROSITY!!??? To answer your question: we never heard how the cast felt about being publicly humiliated. So prepare for some long and boring interviews.  
  
Disclaimery Goodness: Blah blah blah I don't own Pokemon blah blah blah.  
  
* * * * ASH * * * *  
  
MEGAMANZERO: So, Ash? What did you think of my little fic?  
  
ASH: I hate you.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Yes, I'm not too fond of you, either, but give me a serious answer.  
  
ASH: Fine, I seriously hate you.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Well met, my good man. I suppose you'll want to star in any of my other fics?  
  
ASH: Go to hell.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Please, ladies first.  
  
ASH: Fuck you.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Splendid. Moving on to the next question: how did you feel about your overall role in my fic?  
  
ASH: I hated it with a passion reserved for the black plague.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Uh huh. Well, at least you gave me a straight answer. Too bad that's the only STRAIGHT thing about you. And what did you think of the other actors? Did you enjoy working with them?  
  
ASH: I think that they should do the world a favor and jump off a bridge.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Well aren't YOU Mr. Daisies-and-Sunshine?  
  
ASH: What kind of question is that?  
  
MEGAMANZERO: That wasn't on my note cards. It's called "improv", you bitter son of a bitch.  
  
ASH: YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME!!??  
  
MEGAMANZERO: SURE, ORIGINAL RECIPE, PLEASE!!!  
  
FFZZZTT!!! We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties, folks.  
  
CAMERA MAN: WELL ISN'T THAT THE BIGGEST FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY!!?? DUDE, THEY'VE GONE DRAGONBALL Z IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SET!!!!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: KA ME HA ME HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!  
  
ASH: FINAAAAAAAAAAAL FLASH!!!!!  
  
* * * * MISTY * * * *  
  
MEGAMANZERO: So, Misty? How are you doing today?  
  
MISTY: Just peachy and ----wait, what's with the bandage across your head? And why is half the room charred black??  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Well, it seems like Ash wasn't as cooperative as I'd thought he'd be.  
  
MISTY: I'll say. He came out looking half dead!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: I'd say he's a little more than half dead, Misty, but he knew what he was getting into when he went up against martial artist extraordinaire MegamanZero.  
  
MISTY: Rrrrriiight. Um...aren't you gonna ask me more questions?  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Oh, right, silly me. Next question: what did you think of my little fic?  
  
MISTY: Even now I still question your sanity.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Who doesn't? Now, next question: would you be willing to star in any of my other fics?  
  
MISTY: Um...hard to say. I'd be willing to star in any of your fics so long as you're not stoned off your ass when you write them.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: *looks taken aback* What? Misty, I'm shocked!!! How could you think I was stoned when I wrote this fic! Everybody knows I was hammered like a nail!! Really, the very idea...  
  
MISTY: Um.yeah...ah...any other questions?  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Ah, yes, the questions. How did you feel about your overall role in my fic?  
  
MISTY: First off, I'd like to say that I am EXTREMELY INSULTED that you would ever portray me as some horny, ditsy idiot!! How could you do such a thing?? I'm a human being with human feelings!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: No, you're not. You're just ink character drawn on paper by some pervert that has a weird fetish for busty twelve year olds that look four years older than they actually are.  
  
MISTY: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!!??  
  
MEGAMANZERO: I don't recall cotton ever being in your ears. Why don't you scroll up and read it again? You CAN read, right? Jeez, I thought red heads were supposed to be SMARTER than blondes.  
  
MISTY: YOU ASSHOLE!!! NOW YER GONNA GET IT!!!! *pulls out her mallet*  
  
MEGAMANZERO: *sigh* Will ANY of my interviews not end up in violence?  
  
MISTY: HEY!!! I'm not through with you!!!!  
  
* * * * BROCK * * * *  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Why, hello, Brock, how are you today?  
  
BROCK: THE BROCK IS FEELING JUST FINE, TINY INTERVIEWER!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Um, Brock? We're not shooting "Not Another Pokemon Spoof!" anymore; you can get out of character now.  
  
BROCK: THE BROCK HASN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA OF WHAT YOU SPEAK!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: O...k. I'll just play along then. So, Brock, what did you think of my little fic?  
  
BROCK: THE BROCK THINKS THAT IT KICKED ROOTY POO CANDY-COATED CANDY ASS!!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Why, thank you, Brock. Coming from a muscle-bound meat wad, that's pretty flattering.  
  
BROCK: THE BROCK WELCOMES YOU.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Ok, next question: how would you feel about starring in any of my other fics?  
  
BROCK: THE BROCK WOULD JUST JUMP AT THE CHANCE TO APPEAR IN A PIECE OF LITERATURE WOVEN TOGETHER BY A FINE AUTHOR SUCH AS YOU.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: I'm very touched, Brock. Oh, and might I add that your fly is open?  
  
BROCK: WHA??? THE BROCK SHALL CORRECT THE FLAW IN HIS APPEARANCE!!! AH, WAITAMINUTE. MY FLY ISN'T OPEN! I'M WEARING SPANDEX!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, THE BROCK PRAISES YOUR GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: No, Brock, your fly is really open; your crotch area is torn!!  
  
BROCK: *checks his crotch* WHA?? HA...oh my...  
  
CAMERA MAN: Dude!!! It looks like a baby carrot between two peas!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!  
  
BROCK: THIS SHALL NOT STAND! THE BROCK SHALL KICK YOUR CANDY ASS!!!!!  
  
CAMERA MAN: Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!  
  
BROCK: THIS IS THE PENALTY FOR INSULTING THE BROCK'S EQUIPMENT!! *begins to pummel camera man*  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Well, once again I have not been able to ask all of my questions due to the fact that my guest has an IQ below room temperature. Next up, we have Tracy's thoughts! Tune in next week!  
  
BROCK: AND NOW FOR MY FLATULENT JUSTICE MOVE!!!!  
  
CAMERA MAN: OH GOD, KILL ME NOW!!!! My nose hairs!! They're BURNING!!!!  
  
TRACY: I've gotta get a sketch of this!!!  
  
* * * * TRACY * * * *  
  
MEGAMANZERO: So, Tracy, how are you this afternoon?  
  
TRACY: Just fine, if you don't count the entire world hating me and having no reason to get up in the morning.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Uh...yeah. What did you think of my little fic?  
  
TRACY: I think that I should've committed suicide years ago.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Tracy, we agree with you, but could you please stay on topic?  
  
TRACY: What's the point? *sniff* It's not like my opinion matters anyway.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: This is getting us nowhere, so we're moving on to the next question. Would you consider starring in any of my other fics?  
  
TRACY: Anything to give my pathetic, loathsome life some meaning.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: I see. And how did you feel about your overall role in this fic.  
  
TRACY: Personally, I liked that fact that you made me speak nothing but nonsense. It is symbolic of the political and media jargon that we must intake everyday. It also symbolizes how lost we are, and how much the world doesn't make sense.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Very poetic, Tracy. However, we're out of time.  
  
TRACY: Out of...time?? You mean...oh no...IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!!!!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: No, Tracy, I mean it's time for my massage.  
  
TRACY: I'M NOT READY FOR THE END!!! WHAT DO I DO!!?? JESUS, ALLAH, BUDDHA, SATAN, I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Ugh. SECURITY!!!  
  
*BLAM*  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Very good, guard. But, did you have to kill him??  
  
SECURITY: Yes.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Ah. Are you sure?  
  
SECURITY: Yes.  
  
MEGAMANZERO: Well, alright then. Who wants margaritas!!!??  
  
CREW: WE DOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
* * * *  
  
~fin~ (for real, this time) 


End file.
